Take That PETA

In honor of National Infertility Awareness Month, RESOLVE is hosting a "Bust A Myth About Infertility" campaign. "1 in 8 women and men are diagnosed with infertility." RESOLVE and the infertility community are busting myths and telling truths about the most popular public myths and misconceptions about the disease of infertility and the different ways people build their families." My husband and I have been dealing with this issue for almost 16 months. It's a heartbreaking, faith-shaking, world-upsetting, emotional path to trudge. It is a disease, just like cancer, alcoholism, and Crohns. It's not just a difficult issue that can be overcome with morals and values and relaxation.

RESOLVE is asking bloggers to post a myth about infertility and bust it.

Myth: If you just relax, you will get pregnant.

"The fact is, the vast majority of individuals who have infertility have a medical reason, not a stress-related one. Upwards of 90% of all infertility cases are caused by physical problems."

I wish it were this easy. Do you know how often I hear this from people who know about our fertility problems? It's like people are saying it's our fault we can't get pregnant. They are pretty much saying, "You're just too stressed. You are the reason you can't get pregnant. You guys should just take a nice vacation and I'm sure you'll come back pregnant." YEAH RIGHT. Stress is not scientifically a problem for fertility. There has never been a study which shows that simply relaxing increases pregnancy rates.

Do you know how much blame and shame and guilt this puts on couples who are facing this disease? Really? We face enough of these things created by our own mind. I think about this all the time. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I should have been more careful in college. Maybe I need to stop drinking coffee. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

The bottom line is that infertility is not a stress issue. It's not based on things we can control most of the time. It is a disease that has the power to destroy a marriage. It can destroy self esteem, serenity, and hope.

Couples and individuals facing infertility don't deserve the disease just like cancer patients don't deserve their disease. No one deserves to be mocked or shamed based on their ability to have children. They also shouldn't be judged for trying to achieve pregnancy through medical intervention. We wouldn't judge a cancer patient for trying to be cured through medical intervention, would we?

Take that PETA.