Monday, September 29, 2008

I wanted to lay on the ground and spin around in circles on my back

So, I suck at blogging. Apparently with school, work, planning a wedding, and buying a house, I don't have time for it. But, I'm making time, because right now there is some crazy stuff going on.

I went and tried on wedding dresses on Saturday with my mom. Talk about making the whole thing reality. It's like I didn't really believe that I was getting married, but when I put on that dress and veil, it was like BAM! You're getting married! 


Yeah... this was the end of the hour I spent at David's Bridal... and when that saleslady put the veil on my head... the meltdown began. I panicked. I wanted to lay on the ground and spin around in circles on my back, throwing a tantrum. 

I am not completely sure why I got so overwhelmed, but instead of being excited, I became wrought with fear. Fear of not looking like the brides on the David's Bridal Website... Fear of the size that the lady told me the dresses were. Fear because, God Forbid, I might have to be a grown up. And grown ups wear veils and high heels, and they walk down that aisle. 

Don't get me wrong, I want to get married. I am abso-fricken-lutely positive that Adam is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want babies and I want to grow old with him. But, holy hell, is it scary when it all becomes reality, and it's not just talk anymore. This thing is for real. I'm getting M-A-R-R-I-E-D. 

So, now that you all know what has been consuming my mind for the past two days, you can get on with your life. 

Oh and P.S. I'm going back to my natural red hair for my wedding. Just thought you would want to know Aunt Katydidnot.