PROMPTuesday: Hope

It's PROMPTuesday again brought to you by Deb over at San Diego Momma.

The prompt this week:

What one thing can’t you give up?

I've tried to give up so many times in the last 14 months. I've tried hard. I've given it my all to give up hope. In anguish, I've yelled and screamed and pounded my fists. I've gotten angry and frustrated with God and with the desperation I've felt. I've wanted to throw myself down on the ground and sob, like I used to do in the grocery store when I was 5 and my mom wouldn't buy me the cereal I wanted. I have felt so low and so depressed. These last 14 months have tested me more than I ever thought possible.

And somehow? I keep having hope. It just sticks around like an annoying fruit fly. Some days it's what keeps me going. Some times it makes me want to throw up. It's like that annoying friend in school who won't go away but you sort of get some joy out of her. Somehow God keeps stuffing hope down my throat. Sometimes I even look for it, in bible verses, or in my recovery books. But I find hope more out of the people around me. The women who have been through what I'm going through. I find it in my parents who have stood by me and my husband through all of our heartbreak. Somehow it seeps into my life even when I try to close up all the cracks.

God is good that way. He baffles me with his power sometimes, but most of the time I'm just grateful for it. Because somehow? He makes it possible to have hope in the face of heartbreak.

99 Things

I've done everything in bold below.
Now you can copy this on to your own blog & bold the things you’ve done!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightening storm
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby (NO FML)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

Our New House

Our library/office... we will make the top of the loft a bed and a reading nook and underneath the loft will be my collections of kids books.

Our kitchen and dining room. I love this island.

Our master bedroom! It's huge and our queen bed is going to look silly in it, but eventually it will be perfect!