You know what makes me sad? I don't remember what it feels like to be excited about being pregnant. I don't remember what it feels like to be pregnant. I never thought I would get this far. I never thought I would be sitting and waiting again eight months after my second miscarriage, and not be pregnant. I just never imagined this is where I would be. I didn't think I could possibly wait so long that I would forget what it felt like. But I do. I forget. And it breaks my heart.
I'm sure it seems like this totally consumes my thoughts. But it's been hard this week. I'm coming up on my second due date for a baby I don't get to meet. April 11, 2011. I'm supposed to be anxiously awaiting that baby's arrival. I didn't think I would hit this due date without being pregnant again. I just didn't.
They say you shouldn't pray for patience because God will surely give you a way to practice it. I guess he thinks I need a good long lesson in patience.
((hugs)) Due dates are so hard. Thinking of you.
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