Sunday, December 19, 2010

The Sugar Plum Fairy was always my favorite

Growing up, my grandma took me to the Nutcracker every year. She would buy me a cute new dress, take me to dinner, and then take me to the Nutcracker at the Wheeler Opera House. It was always the highlight of my holiday season. The Sugar Plum Fairy was always my favorite. This year, I found out my employer was the biggest sponsor of the annual show of the Nutcracker. I quickly emailed the bank's marketing director when she announced that the bank had two pairs of tickets. A couple days later I got an email back saying that I had won one of the pairs!

I mentioned to my mom that I had two free tickets and that Adam definitely didn't want to go. She told me that she had never been. WHAT?! For some reason, it had never dawned on me that because I always went with my grandma, my mom never had the opportunity to enjoy the same experience. So, I invited her. We have been looking forward to it for at least three weeks. She even skipped a trip to Texas to pig hunt with my dad and my brother. (I know, what a sacrifice...)

We spent most of the day yesterday Christmas shopping locally. We went to the indoor winter farmers market and finished most of our shopping. Then we came back to my house and changed clothes and headed out the door into the winter storm that had shown up. We decided to leave my car at the bus stop on the highway so that she wouldn't have to go all the way back to my house after the show. I got into her car, and off we went.

Or so we thought. We were pulling out on to the highway, turning left, with a green arrow, and I looked to our left and an SUV was speeding towards us. I gasped and yelled something and she slammed on her breaks. The SUV hit the front end of her car and spun us ninety degrees, turning the car downvalley. Thank God I yelled, otherwise she wouldn't have hit her breaks, and we would have been t-boned, likely crushing my mom's side of the car. We called the cops, no one was hurt, and parked her car to be towed later on. Luckily everyone was ok, and both cars had insurance. It was very scary though.

With about an hour to spare, we headed into town to dinner and then headed to the show. We were not going to let even a car accident stop us from seeing the Nutcracker! We enjoyed a delicious dinner and then carefully drove to the show.

It was such a great show! It always is. It was so fun being there with my mom and seeing her enjoy the ballet as much as I always have. It really does get you in the mood for the holidays! I feel so grateful to be able to share the experience with my mommy, that for so long I shared with my grandma. I am also very grateful that we are both ok after the scary events before the show.


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The looming Christmas letter

I grew up in a household where we wrote thank you cards. I also wrote a letter that accompanied my high school graduation invitations. I am a writer, and I thought that the recipients of my graduation invites, would want to know what I was up to after graduation. It worked well. So, every year Adam and I have been together, I have written a Christmas letter to send out with our Christmas cards. I grew up with my dad writing our Christmas letter that went out, usually after Christmas. His were always funny and witty and clever. They were a lot to live up to.

This year, I have ordered our Christmas cards. I have them ready to be addressed and mailed. But I'm faced with this looming task of a Christmas letter. I just can't write it. I've started it three different times. I've tried three different formats. I've tried a clever poem. I've tried writing it from our dog. I've tried a traditional letter updating our friends and family on the past year. But I just. can't. write. it.

How do I write a Christmas letter without talking about the two life changing, perspective altering, heart breaking events that occured in 2010? And conversely? How do I write a Christmas letter and talk about two miscarriages that nearly ripped our hearts in two? How do I put into words the despair we felt this year? And yet, how do I pretend like it hasn't happened and write a letter about all the blessings we have felt this year? It's like a looming topic that I don't want to talk about anymore, but one that I feel like absolutely defines our year.

I'm going to keep trying to write the letter, but if you get a card without a letter, don't take it personally. It's not meant to offend. It's just that I can't find the words or the politically correct way to write a Christmas letter after an incredibly difficult year.

One thing I do know is that 2011 will be much better than 2010. I know that for sure.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Almost Wordless Wednesday


Sometimes people ask me why I live where I live... Why I want to live in one of the most expensive places in the country...

This is why.


Sunday, December 5, 2010

Baby steps

Some days are harder than others. These are the only words I have today.

A dark cloud looms overhead
Fogging my judgement
A shadow over my thoughts
Consuming dreams
One foot in front of the other
Baby stepping around this touchy subject
Tiptoeing around the shards of broken glass
Broken hearted
Still smiling
Fraudulent words disguising sharp aches
Dissolving into stinging tears
Kind words
Eat at the pain
Struggling to stop the decay
With no evolution
One day at a time
Minutes transform hours
Hours convert days
Days become months
Clarity will come
Anguish will be bliss
Just hold on
Someday

And a quote for you to ponder:
"There is, I am convinced, no picture that conveys in all its dreadfulness, a vision of sorrow, despairing, remediless, supreme. If I could paint such a picture, the canvas would show only a woman looking down at her empty arms."
--Charlotte Bronte

Friday, December 3, 2010

Proceeded to giggle wildly

Adam wasn't feeling well last night, so I let him bring the dog up on the bed with us. He can be a baby when he was sick, but last night he was in real pain, so I genuinely felt bad for him. And our dog is super cute. He finally fell asleep, so I was relieved we weren't facing a trip to the emergency room (there is a legitimate concern for this). Things were quiet so I decided to read my book for a bit. Out of nowhere, the dog AND my husband started snoring soooo loud. They were both so annoying that I looked over and was just about to wake Adam up, when I saw this:
Seriously?! The bad little black dog was snuggled up next to my adorable husband with her tongue just peeking out of her mouth and they were both rumbling the bed with their snoring. I couldn't bring myself to wake them. So instead, I got my phone, took a few pictures and proceeded to giggle wildly. Needless to say, Adam woke up from my ridiculous laughter and was less than thrilled.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Almost Wordless Wednesday

From our honeymoon in July 2009, Puerto Vallarta Mexico. This is where I'd like to be on this snowy December day. Yes please.